"There's Nothing We Can Do For You..."

Said the Doctor at my last Doctor's Appointment. They are all basically stumped. They do not have a clue why I had a stroke nor do they know why none of the medications that I am taking are working.

So I am off to the Mayo Clinic on October 2nd to see if they have some answers. The Question is do I really want to know the answer. Ignorance is Bliss? Isn't it?

I finally spoke with my brother the other day. It had been awhile. We don't speak very often and sometimes not at all. I don't know the reason. One day everything was good and then nothing. He did ask me why I was trying to find the answer to my health problems. He said that if it is in your blood, then what do you think that they can do for you. I replied that I don't know, but that I wanted to find out. I now know the reason why I want to find the answer....It is not for me, but for my children - especially Jacob. If there is something that is hurting the males in my family (me and my brother) then I want to find out so that my son does not suffer the same fate. For Jacob...Jakester....Jacob the Mighty....

Rainbow....

I was sitting inside yesterday exhausted from the workday and Cayla was playing outside in the back yard. She came running to the door, yelling, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Look Look! You have got to come outside and look!" I lumbered to the back door and made my way outside. I looked in the direction that she was pointing to. I saw the brightest most colorful rainbow that I have ever seen in my life. I laid down on my hammock and just stared at the rainbow. I have had a rough week with all the medications that I am on and I have been feeling pretty down. As soon as I saw the rainbow, I started to feel better. It was beautiful. Just like Cayla....

Cheers,

-daniel

Good News, Bad News....

I went to the Cardiologist the other day for a follow-up and he had some good news, bad news for me.

The Good news - He thinks that he may have found what may have caused my stroke.

The Bad news - He found a blood clot in the Left Ventrical of my Heart.

He thinks that maybe part of the blood clot broke off and traveled up to the brain causing the stroke. The clot is in an area of my heart that was damaged from my heart attack back in 1998. He put me on some really powerful meds that are supposed to disolve the clot. I have to go to the clinic every week so they can monitor my blood levels. The meds make me feel really sick. I have nausea all day and I don't feel much like eating anything. I hope this treatment works. Because the alternative is sugery.


Cheers,

-daniel

Visions from my Hospital Bed

Visions from my hospital bed…

I wanted to put down the visions that I saw from my hospital bed. The first night I was there, I was in such pain and agony from the stroke that it felt like my head was going to explode. They kept giving me morphine to combat the pain, but it was not working. Fluid was building up in my in head and putting pressure on my brain. I will never forget this intense pain. It felt like someone was using a spike and sledgehammer to crack open my skull. I lost consciousness many times throughout the night. I am not sure if it was from the morphine or from the pain. I remember seeing various members of my family appear at the foot of my bed throughout the night. They did not seem real - they looked different - almost not real. I remember my youngest daughter Cayla at my bedside talking to me. She told me that it sounded like I had a frog in my throat. I remember my Grandfather crying and praying over me.

As the night past on, I awoke to find something coming out of the television that was mounted on wall. At first, all I could see was a dark hand slowly coming out of the screen. The hand was not breaking through the screen; rather the screen was molded around the hand. It was a little freaky. As the hand kept coming out of the television, (it was off), I go to see more and more of the ghost like apparition. Very soon, the hand had morphed into a full arm, and then a hooded figure appeared with arms outstretched from inside the television. One arm kept stretching out to me with an open hand as if it wanted me to grab it. The figure had no face, it was completely black, and I could only make out some faint shadows and an outline. I had this incredible urge to reach up and grab the hand that was beckoning me. I picked my arm up and began to reach for the hand. I could see myself in the reflection of the television reach for the hand. The figure did not say anything nor did it give off any sound. It was just there reaching for me. I do not recall what happened next, but I think I passed out. When I awoke, the hand was gone and the television was on. The only thing I could think of is how cool this would be to replicate for CC’s Halloween Home Haunt. Later I realized what the figure reminded of - one of the characters from the movie Frighteners.

The next day, I was blessed with a more enjoyable image. I opened my eyes and it was early in the morning. I looked up and right about my head 4 large rainbow, colored coy fish were swimming in a circle following each other. I reached up, I touched the water, and it rippled. I kept touching the water as the fish swam above me. The image of the fish swimming was very calming. I fell back to sleep and when I woke, they were gone.

There were no other concrete vision, but there were many sounds. I remember waking up several times to the sound of rushing water - it sounded like I was next to a waterfall. The rushing water was very loud. Every time I heard the water, I would close my eyes and I would see static/noise on the inside of my eyelids. It was a constant rush of static/noise accompanied by the rushing water.

I do not know what the visions/sounds mean or if they had any meaning. As the days pass, it is harder and harder to remember the details of what I saw and heard. I do wish that I could see the fish again…..it was very peaceful….As for the ghostly apparition, I have a feeling that I will see that again some day. (Hey CC, maybe we could set this up for Halloween!)

-daniel

Randy - the All-Star

We traveled to Silver City on Saturday to watch my Nephew, Randy Paul Chavez, play in the Class A/AA North-South All-Star Football game. It was a pretty good game with the South being victorious with a 21 to 20 win. We had a good time. Here is a link to the article on the game: http://www.scsun-news.com/sports/ci_3924193

Randy is in the Gold helmet playing Center ready to snap the ball. It was such a blast watching him play. Since we live so far away, I have not seen him play football this year. He did great and was instrumental in helping the South achieve victory.

Here is another picture of Randy that Chris (Randy's older Brother was able to get). I believe this in when the South just scored it's second Touchdown. I can almost hear the Blast from the Canon and the Jal Fight Song playing in the background!!!!!

Randy wears #65 and carries on a proud tradition in the family. I wore #65 when I played football in High School and Middle School. My Dad wore #65 when he played football (back in the 70s). My daughter Genesis wears #65 while she plays soccer. My son Jacob will wear #65 when he starts playing Flag Football in the Fall. The Tradition continues....

Great Job Randy! We are all very proud of you!

- Your Uncle - Danny

Quick Update

I started back to work this week and let me tell you, it has been a roller coaster ride. One minute I feel great, then the next minute I am totally exhausted. It is also frustrating to try and do something that I have done a million times but now I have to really focus. For example, I was editing a picture in Photo Shop and I really had to concentrate to remember how to accomplish various edits. I also have an issue with multi-tasking. I seem to forget what I was doing. This really sucks! I am used to being able to get things done quickly and correctly - but now that capability seems to have left me for now. I don't know if it will come back- it better!!!

Well, I better get back to work before I tire myself out again. It has now been three weeks since my stroke. It seems like a blur and sometimes I cannot believe or remember that it happened, but then I get a cruel reminder when I can't remember how to do something.....

-daniel....

Confusion and Frustration

I haven't posted in several days because I really didn't feel like it. I have been experiencing a lot of frustration lately. When I get tired I get confused really easily. When I try to type something, I get really frustrated that I make mistakes or that I can't seem to come up with the words I want to say. this is driving me crazy. Physically I feel great - mentally I am not doing so well. I was supposed to go back to work, but my company needed more detailed information from my Doctor as to what I could and couldn't do when I get back to work. Getting information from the Doctor is very difficult. I don't have any clue when I will be back at work. right now I am just tired of being at home and not being productive. Hopefully things will change soon.

This is how I feel right now. arrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

bye for now.....

clearance

Back to work. I had a doctor's appt. today. My doctor cleared me to begin working again starting on Monday. At first I will be restricted to working from home. He said that I will need to self regulate my time spent working. He said that I should work a little bit at first and then gradually increase my time. I think that I will be able to put in a couple of hours a day to start. we'll see....

He did say that the longer I am away from work that the harder it will be for me to get back into it. I really do not like not working. I feel that I am getting so far behind.....

alive and kicking....

recovery

I decided that I am going to use my blog to re-train my brain and get back into typing shape. Everyday I plan on typing at least one post to excercise my brain. You would not believe how hard it is to type right now. I have to really focus and block out all external noise in order to get my fingers to type the words that are coming from my mind. I see the words in my head,but my fingers are not responding as they should. After I type for just a few minutes, I get really tired. I feel exhausted. It feels like I just ran down the street. I guess I just need to keep doing these brain push-ups to get back into shape.

It has been a whirlwind lately. I do not remember what happened when I had the stroke. I do not remember the first several days of being in the hospital. I just remember seeing faces of the people that came to visit me. I remember seeing my wife Desiree - crying at my bed side. I remember, my Mom, Dad and Grandparent being there. I remember seing my Grandfather with tears in his eyes. I remember talking to my grandmother and telling her about one of the times we went camping and fishing when I was a child.

When they had me on the drugs for the pain that I was having in my head - I saw a lot of things.....One was what I believe was the Angel of death. It/he was coming through the TV screen. It/he had an outstretched hand and was reaching for me. I remember lifting up my arm and trying to grab the hand. It was disturbing and unsettling.

There was also the fish that I saw floating above my head. Thy looked like rainbow colored coy fish. I could reach up and touch them and the water would ripple at my touch. I guess I was a little out of my mind at the time.

I apologize if I misspelled words or my grammar and punctuation are not correct. At this point I am just glad that I can type....

Getting better everyday......

Stroke

On May18th I suffered a stoke to the right side of my brain. I spent the week in the hospital where they conducted countless tests. The doctors could not find a reason for me having a stroke. they did say that in 20% of all stroke cases, the cause is never known. I wish I could go into more detail, but it is very difficult to type. I have to really focus just to get my hands to hit the right keys. I used to be able to type approx. 120wpm, now I have a hard time typing a couple of sentences. But, I am getting a little faster every day. I think that with more practice and time, I will be able to light up the keboard again.

I am just happy to be home and be around my family.

I do want to thank all my friends and family for all the prayers and well-wishes during this ordeal.

All is well

-daniel

Brody Update

Brody is starting to calm down a little more. He seems more at ease as well. He has been spending a lot of time with us in the house (he has always been an outside dog due to his size - 130+lbs.). He follows us from room to room. I also think I am going to take him to soccer practice this next week.

Brody is Depressed

Brody - Missie's life long companion - has not taken her passing very well. Last night we heard him whining outside. I went to check on him and he was running back and forth whining and barking. He looked scared and lost. I think that he was looking for her, but he couldn't find her. It was very sad. We let him in the house and he laid down on the floor and kept whining. Desiree and I tried to calm him down by petting him, and after awhile, he settled down. He looks really sad. Missie and Brody have been together for the last 10 years. I believe they have only spent probably one or two nights apart from each other. Missie was the brains of the duo. She told him when to bark and what to chase. Without her, he seems lost...

Missie - RIP April 05, 2006

Our dog of nearly 10 years, Missie, was put down this morning at approximately 8:30am. Missie had been suffering from kidney disease and her kidneys were shutting down. She was no longer capable of regular bowl movements and she was getting sicker and sicker. We decided that putting her to sleep would be the best thing for her.

I picked up Missie from the Humane Society (dog pound) when Genesis was almost two years old. She was timid and shy. The pound told me that she was brought in with barbwire around her neck and that she showed signs of physical abuse. When I first saw Missie in the pound she lowered her head and shoulder as if she was bowing. I immediately knew she was the dog we wanted. We also picked up Brody the same day.

Missie has been a wonderful dog. She was gentle and smart. I could always count on her to watch over the entire family. There was the one time when a Chow had gotten into our backyard. He was barking and was headed towards Genesis (Gen was about 5 at the time and Jacob was a little over 1). I was washing dishes and I could see the backyard from the window above the sink. Missie was resting behind Genesis watching the Chow. Brody was barking at the Chow, but he didn't advance towards it. The Chow saw Genesis and started running towards her barking and growing. I started to leave the sink to head outside when I saw one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Missie jumped up and ran right at the Chow. She jumped right in front of Genesis and knocked the Chow down so hard that the dog rolled four or five times. Missie then just sat there and stared at the Chow. She didn't growl or anything. The Chow was freaking out and yelping and trying to get out of the yard. I went into the backyard and let the Chow out. I went over to Missie and gave her a big hug and thanked her for protecting Genesis and Jacob. She just looked up and me and smiled. Later that evening I put two really large T-Bone steaks on the grill. The really large steak was for Missie....

Goodbye Missie....Thank you for protecting our family and sharing your life with us.....You will be missed by all and you will never be forgotten....

Quick Hits

For our international friend, I have included a couple of quick pictures of the family.

That's the sound of the family working on the chain gang....

Oh don't you know, that's the sound of the family working on the chain gang!!! You may not know, but that song applied to us this past weekend. We moved and installed 120 - 12" X 12" X 2" red pavers as a walk way at our house.

We completed the project as part of Operation Help the Old Grumpy Dog. Brodie is our 11-year old grumpy dog. Old age has caught up to him and he no longer to walk on the landscaped rocks to reach the side gate of the house. He would just sit in the kid's sandbox or on the patio and bark and howl at the passers-by. So we created this walkway to assist Brodie in getting to the front of the house.

So far he likes it. He know takes the pathway to the front and can bark from the gate.

Desiree, on the other hand, will now require knee, back, arm, hand, and foot surgery to repair the damage she incurred from helping set a 120 pavers. LOL!

Soccer Update

The Spring 2006 Soccer Season has brought a few surprises and triumphs. We have only played two league games, but we did participate in a 3v3 Tournament that was a lot of fun.

We are currently 1-1. We lost the first game 3-1, but it was one of those games where we had many opportunities to blow the opponent out of the water, but we just kept missing. I think we missed at least 10 shots on goal. Even the ref would hold his hands up and let me know how close we were to making the goal. This game was fun because the coach of the other team was losing his mind. He kept yelling and stomping up and down calling for fouls and saying that we were being too physical with against his team. It is funny to note that because we are a team of 10 and 11 year old girls and his team was made up of 12 year old boys.

Our second game had much getter results. We won 4-0. Although, I felt we should have won about 10-0. We clearly outplayed the other team, but for some reason we let them hang around. Genesis had one of the best games of her life. She missed the first game of the season with an ankle injury, so she was itching to play. And play she did. She was on fire. Gen plays mid-fielder and she is required to keep the other team from crossing the field and to support the forwards. She was very aggressive and kept the other team from crossing the field. I am not sure what got into to her, but she was pretty pissed the whole game. I asked her after the game was over why she was playing with such fire. She told me that she saw the other team push one of her teammates to the ground. She said that it made her mad. I told her to bottle that feeling and open it up at every game.

Genesis really cracks me up. She is so aggressive, plays hard, and will knock the snot out of another player with a smile on her face. She is not a dirty player, everything she does is well within the limits of the rules (laws) of the game. I would liken her play to that of a Corner Back or Strong Safety (if she were playing football).

Our next game is this next Saturday agains the Starz. This is a really good team that we usually split our games with....Should be a tough game.

Go Wildcats!

Projects

Lazy.

That has been the best word to describe me since Christmas. I have all these projects lined up, but I never get around to them. I am finally putting the finishing touches on Jake's bed. I finished his bed months ago, but I still haven't finished the drawer fronts. Well, I worked on them this weekend and should be done by the COB on Sunday. The drawer fronts are all stained and I just need to add the drawer pulls on the fronts. The bottom row is all aligned, so that will go on pretty fast. The top row still needs to be pre-drilled and aligned.

We went out and bought the necessary tools and parts to change the oil in Old Yeller (1971 Chevy Pickup). I can't remember the last time I changed the oil myself. It is so much easier to have Lube N Go change the oil that it seems cost prohibitive to do it myself. But, I want to teach the kids how to change their own oil, so I guess you can't put a price on a life lesson.

Hi Mom

Mom! Mom!Mom! Mom!Mom! Mom!Mom! Mom!Mom! Mom!Mom! Mom!Mom! Mom!Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!Mom! Mom!

Happy Now?

(EDIT: My Mom actually reads my blog and was upset that I put this post up. Well, she wasnt' too upset she was just pouting. I never thought in a million years that my Mom would be reading an internet blog. My Mom is great. She has always been there for me and I love her. Thanks Mom - for not giving up on all of us.....Yes, I mean Kevin and Shellie too. They will come around eventually......I hope....)

2006 Toyota Corolla

We went car shopping over the weekend and got ourselves a new car - 2006 Toyota Corolla CE. We had narrowed down our selection to three choices - Corolla, Civic, or Mazda 3. After some market research we determined that the Corolla met our needs.

We started shopping in Las Cruces, but the local dealer had only two Corollas in stock. So we headed to El Paso. We ended up at Dick Poe (Hi Dick!) Toyota. They had many Corollas to choose from. Our sales guy, Josh Mejia, did a great job of getting us a good deal on the vehicle. Since we had already secured our financing through Patelco Credit Union (they also financed our Honda Odyssey), the whole car buying process only took about an hour.

1999 Olds Alero = POS

Well it finally happened. The event that I had been expecting for quite some time has come. The Alero has finally crapped out on us. The car has been on suicide watch for a long time and has finally succeeded in taking its last gasp of air. I spent many hours trying to revive her, but to no avail.

Looks like we will be car hunting this weekend. Probably get either a Toyota Corolla or a Honda Civic.